Archive for October 2008

Being a teen sucks, #7

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#7: We can’t vote.

Technically 18 and 19 are teens, too, but right now I feel as though the country is separated into two spheres: those who can vote and those who can’t.

I mean, come on– I’m a citizen and I’ve never committed a felony. I’ve read and watched the debates, suffered through the monotonous conventions, and I even buy the New York Times because as much as I love the Chronicle, it doesn’t really have any news in it. I know not to trust the polls too much, because most of them are completely NOT random samples, and I know that as much as I root for Obama, he is really, really centrist.

Most of my classmates– the ones in the APs, at least– also know what I know. Some say that the VAP/VEP turnouts are not declining as the media claims, but the fact remains that the US has never had strong voter participation. I wish I could take some apathetic non-voter’s spot.

p.s. please, no more Joe the Plumber.


Written by jane

October 29, 2008 at 6:09 PM

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Being a teen sucks, #6

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#6: Halloween is just an excuse to get slutty.

You can wear anything at my school, within reason. Technically the school district has a dress code, but at my delightfully lax high school the only surefire way to be sent home is if you like, don’t wear a shirt. In fact, some girls regularly wear leggings in lieu of pants; just imagine what they wear on Halloween, the day of absolutely no wardrobe guidelines! Actually, it’s unfair of me to harp only on the girls, as the guys are often offenders, as well (a borderline obese band geek dressed as Tarzan in a skimpy, thong-y loincloth). The bottom line is, the majority of students get pretty damn trampy on H-day.

You see, excluding the puppies and unicorns bunch, Halloween– like most major holidays– is about sex. During the school year there are some parties on weekends, but they are mostly small affairs: moderate house parties, bonfires on the beach. And in the summer, so many people are out of town that it becomes difficult to build gatherings of any kind. On only a few occasions do high school parties really get crazy: post-prom, 4/20, and the more conventional holidays (New Years, Spring Break, and Halloween). These parties are about sheer scale: huge spaces, large amounts of alcohol, and tons of people, thus ample opportunities for hooking up. On Halloween, teens get drunk enough to do people they normally wouldn’t. But in order to make these catches, they first need to be really, really attractive.

Enter the slutty costume. Most of them aren’t horribly revealing, but I find the principle of sexy costumes simply too trashy to be fun– what would Alice say (Disney’s, not the star of the ’70s porn musical) if she saw the travesties girls wear in her honor? To me, Halloween is about assuming a persona through accurate dress, not sexing up a normally innocent character. Last year I went as Waldo/Wally, in a striped shirt from Ross, face-paint glasses, and a striped beanie I sewed myself. This year I’m going as the Paper Bag Princess— pretty prudish as costumes go. Maybe this is why I’m not getting much ass on H-day; when it comes to high school and the art of attraction, it pretty much uniformly comes down to showing cleavage and thighs. But for now, I’m sticking with my not-so-exciting costume. Sure, my boobs will never be as perky as they are now, but that doesn’t mean I should flash all thirty-two kids in my AP English class! I’m gonna go to a couple parties (finally, Halloween’s on a Friday night!) in my shapeless paper bag, with or without hookups, and pity my friends who have to take the ACT the very next morning.

I’ve accepted the fact that my peers will look like hos this Friday, but I still think it’s really sad, that when you google “slutty halloween costumes” you get 665,000 results. That’s two hundred thousand more results than you get if you google soporific! There should be more sleepiness and less sluttiness on Halloween.

Written by jane

October 28, 2008 at 11:11 PM